You’re probably a full-time RVer if…

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By Greg Gerber

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy is well known for his hilarious routine in which he makes some outlandish claim, followed by “you’re probably a redneck.”

Over the years, I have read many humorous comments on social media from full-time RVers, so I compiled this list to help people determine if they have been bitten by the full-time bug.

  • If your RV is in for service every four weeks, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you’re visiting a friend or relative’s home and try to flush their toilet with your foot, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you step out of your front door and stumble over your neighbor’s sewer connection, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you’re camping in the desert without electricity or air conditioning, but really don’t mind because of the view, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you manage to cram everything from your 2,000-square-foot home into 400 square feet, you’re probably an experienced full-time RVer.
  • When your 5-year-old child shouts in the middle of the night, “Why is the RV shaking?,” you’re probably an amorous full-time RVer.
  • If you can save money when shopping because you don’t have room to store one more item, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you hate your neighbors, but can move in 20 minutes, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you spend $100,000 on a vacation home to avoid spending $100 on hotel rooms, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you know what a slunky is, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you’re an adult and your parents are convinced you’ve lost your mind because you want to travel full-time, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When your favorite form of entertainment is watching new RV owners back their rigs into a campsite, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you’re camping in Washington State and bump into an old neighbor from South Carolina, but aren’t really surprised by the encounter, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you walk into a college student’s dormitory and wish your bedroom was that big, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you know of 100 absolutely worthless uses for Bounce fabric softener and NONE of them involve a clothes dryer, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If s’mores are your go-to evening snack, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If the value of your RV goes up or down depending upon how much gas is in it, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you remember what it was like to use double-ply toilet paper, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you own a $250,000 motorhome but stay overnight in a Walmart parking lot because you think $35 for a campsite is too expensive, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you comment to your spouse how nice it is to have a national park all to your selves on a weekday in May, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you think you’ve won the lottery when the campground Wi-Fi connection is above 5 megabits per second, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When it has been a particularly trying and arduous day on the road, but you feel better after 15 minutes in front of a campfire, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you spend every day in a campground, but can’t remember the last time you enjoyed a campfire, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you shop at Costco and your kids want to buy a skid of breakfast cereal, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you breathe a sigh of relief and marvel at the peace and quiet in the campground on Sunday night, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you can smile when a campground staff member has to mow the grass in the middle of the day, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If your air sanitizer comes in tablets or pouches, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you can’t cram one more thing into the RV, but someone wants to add a dog or a baby to the family, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you can’t use the bathroom without hearing comments about the noise from people in the kitchen, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When your child needs a potty break on the road and you can tell her to unbuckle and hurry back, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you can plan your trips around how many movies the kids can watch between stops, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you have worn the same five shirts for the past five weeks, and nobody seems to notice, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you know the names of all the dogs in a campground, but can’t remember your neighbor’s name, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When the highlight of your conversation at the campground is the best brand of septic hose, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • When you absolutely need to submit a project for work but can’t get an internet connection because your neighbor is streaming a movie to his patio TV, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you’re a parent of homeschooled children who has had to have a conversation with social services investigators thanks to a nosy neighbor, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you have to visit a grocery store every three days, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you’ve traveled so much that you don’t remember what time zone you’re in, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you just received a jury summons in the mail ordering you to appear last week, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you know the name of someone who has pulled out of a campsite while still connected to water, sewer or electricity, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you know a toad is not necessarily a swamp-dwelling creature, you’re probably a full-time RVer.
  • If you look forward to tomorrow’s adventure because you know it will be better than today’s, you’re probably a full-time RVer.

Do you have an example to share? Put it in the comments below.

Greg Gerber

Greg Gerber

A journalist who has covered the recreation vehicle industry since January 2000, Greg Gerber founded RV Daily Report on April Fool's Day in 2009. He also serves as the editor of the publication and website. As an Eagle Scout, he has enjoyed camping for decades and has visited every state except Hawaii. A DODO -- Dad of Daughters Only -- to three young women, he has two grandchildren as well. He currently splits his time between Wisconsin, Texas and Arizona. Greg can be reached at editor@rvdailyreport.com.

Leave a Comment

  • Silvana says:

    Love these! I can relate to all of them!

  • Ellen says:

    These are so true, Greg! I made my own list a few years ago (https://ellenbooks.com/rving-for-non-rvers/you-know-youre-a-full-timer-when/) and loved reading yours.

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